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The Return of DOCTORAL DAY: 25th Anniversary Edition!

No Comments » Written on March 31st, 2012 by
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Regular readers of my blog will know that this next Monday heralds my personal holiday. April 2nd is the date on which I successfully defended my dissertation and the members of my committee shook my hand and said, “Congratulations, Doctor Schoen.”

Traditionally, I spend the day doing something self-indulgent. I also like to encourage everyone to engage in vacuously pompous behavior, lecturing the masses on any topic that you choose (note: you must provide your own soapbox). If you have a terminal degree, proudly display it for all lesser mortals to behold, and let them tremble in the glow of your privileged intellect.

Or something like that.

This year’s Doctoral Day is a bit extra-special, owing to our culture’s preoccupation with certain numbers. It’s the 25th anniversary, and so I’ve come up with a particularly splendid treat for myself: On Monday, I’ll be traveling down to Delaware, where I’ll be visiting the Colvine Bison Farm for my first in person viewing of some buffalo.

Can you believe it? Half a million words about buffalitos, and I’ve never spent time up close with a buffalo before. It’s probably too much to hope that they have a gift shop (let alone one with silver souvenirs), but if nothing else, I’m sure I’ll be coming home with fresh bison filet mignon. Yummers!

SFWA Voting

No Comments » Written on March 30th, 2012 by
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Over on his blog (which certainly doesn’t need any links from me), SFWA President John Scalzi has posted a reminder that the deadline for Active and Lifetime Members to cast their online Nebula ballots is tonight, March 30, 2012, 11:59pm PDT.

Yeah, I know, many people will have glanced at that deadline a month or more ago and mentally miscoded it as “last day of March,” which of course it’s not. And boy howdy, if you were one of them, won’t you be annoyed if you try and vote tomorrow!

And, as long as you’re remembering to cast your online Nebula ballots at the proverbial last minute, let me remind you that you still have a couple weeks in which to mail in your ballot for this year’s SFWA Election.

That’s right, we’re still functioning under the old articles of incorporation, which prohibit online elections. Maybe next year we will cease our wandering in the desert and arrive at the promised land (or at least electronic balloting), but for now I have to go out to my mailbox every day and check for arriving ballots (for those that don’t know, I’m once again the SFWA Election Officer, which means you send your votes to me!).

So, don’t just settle for casting your Nebula ballot today, send in your election ballot as well. And don’t worry about me and my paper cuts, it’s a price I gladly play for our sacred system of democracy. Yeah, you betcha!

Trek Trax Atlanta: Preliminary Schedule

2 comments Written on March 23rd, 2012 by
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It’s been a few years since I’ve put in an appearance at a Klingon or Star Trek convention, but that’s all about to change. I’ll be talking the talk at Trek Trax Atlanta from Friday, April 20th, through Sunday, April 22nd. It’s been far too long since I’ve been back to Atlanta, and I’m looking forward to the trip.

Here then is my my pre-final schedule for this grand event. It may change, but I’m thinking it’s pretty solid:

Friday, April 20th:
10:00 – 11:00 | Centennial I | Twenty Years of Pimping the Klingon Language (M)
 Q&A and some strange tales of pushing the Klingon language for two decades.

Saturday, April 21st

2:30 – 3:30 | Chastain | The Sounds of Klingon
 An interactive session with just a bit of spitting as we master some of the trickier sounds.

7:00 – 8:00 | Chastain | Ten Things Every Klingon Should Know How to Say… in Klingon!
 Eric Koske and I instruct you in some essential Klingon phrases.

Sunday, April 22nd
10:00 – 11:00 | Chastain | Klingon Religion
 Tony Roberts and I discuss religion, Klingon style!

2:30 – 3:30 | Centennial I | The 2012 Miss Klingon Empire Beauty Pageant
 Join Todd Bryant, David Orange, Spice Williams, and me as we judge the event. Yeah, yeah, it’s a tough job…

When I’m not busy with the above, they tell me there’ll table where I can sit and sell various materials from the KLI, chat with attendees, and generally hang out. With luck, there’ll be some Diet Coke nearbye too.

Lunacon 2012: No, THIS Is My Schedule!

No Comments » Written on March 13th, 2012 by
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As is usually the case, there’s been some movement here and there on the schedule. The important thing is that it looks like everything is bolted down now, and we’re good to go. If you’re looking to find me at Lunacon, the following provides your prime stalking opportunities:

Friday, March 16th:
20:00 – 21:00 | Grand Ballroom ? |Meet the Pros
 Grab a drink, have a nosh, and come say “howdy”

Saturday, March 17th
11:00 – 11:30 | Bartell | Reading
 In honor of the recently released ERB film, I will likely read “A Buffalito Of Mars”

12:00 – 13:00 | William Odelle | Hadley Rille Press: Meet the Authors (M)
 Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich, and I share tales of this midwestern small press

13:00 – 14:00 | Westchester Assembly | Autographing
 w/ Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich

16:00 – 17:00 | Westchester Ballroom A1 | Neuroscience Fiction
 w/ Lawrence Kramer, Linda Zimmermann, Shara Zoll (M)

Sunday, March 18th
12:00 – 13:00 | Elijah Budd | Creating Believable Fantasy Animals
 w/ Karin Rita Gastreich (M), Robert J. Howe, Keira Sokolowski

13:00 – 15:00 | Grand Ballrom North | Charity Book Raffle (MC)
 GoH Howard Tayler and I will vie for privilege of drawing your ticket? (sorry about the pun)

Still no sign of any programming for Barry. In past years, Mr. Shirt has threatened to put him on the schedule. I, in turn, have threatened to leave him sitting on podium in front of an empty room. Nothing good can come of this, I’m sure.

Lunacon 2012: My Schedule!

No Comments » Written on March 11th, 2012 by
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Despite rumors (started by me) that my stint last year as GoH had broken Lunacon, the fine folks at Programming have come through with a schedule. No doubt there will be some changes before the actual event (now less than a week away), but for your edification and amusement, here is where I think you can find me, at least as of right now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my pre-final schedule for Lunacon 2012:

Friday, March 16th:
20:30 – 21:30 | Grand Ballroom ? |Meet the Pros
 Grab a drink, have a nosh, and come say “howdy”

Saturday, March 17th
12:00 – 13:00 | William Odelle | Hadley Rille Press: Meet the Authors (M)
 Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich, and I share tales of this midwestern small press

13:00 – 14:00 | Westchester Assembly | Autographing
 w/ Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich

16:00 – 17:00 | Westchester Ballroom A1 | Neuroscience Fiction
 w/ Lawrence Kramer, Linda Zimmermann, Shara Zoll (M)

Sunday, March 18th
10:00 – 10:30 | Bartell | Reading
 In honor of the recently released ERB film, I will likely read “A Buffalito Of Mars”

12:00 – 13:00 | Elijah Budd | Creating Believable Fantasy Animals
 w/ Karin Rita Gastreich (M), Robert J. Howe, Keira Sokolowski

13:00 – 15:00 | Grand Ballrom North | Charity Book Raffle (MC)
 Will I draw your ticket? You’ll just have to come by and see

For good or ill, Barry believes he is the convention’s unofficial Plushie GoH (I’ve tried explaining it to him, but he just won’t listen — I doubt they’ll even have a badge for him). If you’d like to humor him, the odds are good that you can find him riding on my shoulder throughout most of the convention (at least when he’s not in the bar, drowning his sorrows in barbecue sauce). I would consider it a kindness if you’d stop and pose for a photograph with him.

Insomnia? Why not nominate for the Hugos?

No Comments » Written on March 10th, 2012 by
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As happens most nights, I woke up at some stupid hour of the dark, and couldn’t fall back to sleep.

Rather than lay in bed and listen to the sounds of my wife and the dogs snoozing, I got up and went into my office (as I usually) do.

Seemed like as good a time as any to finally submit my nominations for this year’s Hugo Awards.

Well… that’s done. Hmmm…

Chicon 7 Hugo Nomination Deadline

No Comments » Written on March 6th, 2012 by
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For any of you who:

* have an attending or supporting Chicon 7 membership, and/or
* had an attending or supporting Renovation membership, and/or
* have an attending or supporting LoneStar 3 membership:

This is to remind you that the deadline for submitting your Nomination Ballot for the Hugos is fast approaching.

Specifically, it’s next Sunday, March 11, 2012, at 11:59 p.m. PDT

To vote online, go to https://chicon.org/hugo/nominate.php. You’ll need your seven digit PIN.

And now that we’ve got that covered, let’s shift from Public Service Announcement to Self-Serving Reminder. I am eligible in the following Hugo Award categories:

BEST NOVEL
Buffalito Contingency by Lawrence M. Schoen

BEST SHORT STORY
“Yesterday’s Taste” by Lawrence M. Schoen

BEST DRAMATIC PRESENTATION (SHORT FORM)
Soft Kitty in Klingon” by Lawrence M. Schoen

BEST FANCAST
DaHjaj Hol: A Daily Klingon Language Podcast by Lawrence M. Schoen

 

The novel and short story are two of the most popular categories. Both my eligible works involve my continuing character the Amazing Conroy. My odds are slim at best, no matter how good the fiction is (and I’m very proud of both works).

The other categories, right or wrong, are likely to receive far few votes. Best Fancast in particular will probably be light, as it’s brand new this year, and is in fact a one-shot. Many people will simply fail to nominate in these categories, or leave one or more of their five nomination slots blank. The two items I have up in these categories are both related to Klingon, and I encourage you to fill in those empty slots with a vote to promote more use of constructed languages spoken by imaginary aliens in a distance part of the galaxy several centuries from now.

If I am fortunate enough to land a nomination, I promise to prepare an acceptance speech in Klingon.

If by some greater blow of serendipity I win, I can think of nothing grander than to stand upon the stage in Chicago, the city of my birth, and utter Klingon expletives of joy while waving a shiny rocketship like it were a bat’leth.

Could you ask for better motivation?

Book Review: God’s War

No Comments » Written on March 1st, 2012 by
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God's War

I started reading Kameron Hurley’s God’s War out of a sense of obligation to read the titles on this year’s Nebula Award ballot, even though I’m hard pressed to even imagine a better offering than China Mieville’s Embassytown.

And I’m glad I did. Hurley’s novel is a great ride of compelling characters, entertaining worldbuilding, intriguing sociology, and pace-pounding plot threads. Religious elements familiar but different, believable extrapolations/evolutions of today drive much of the book, but the book is not about religion. Nor is it about war, though war pervades every page, every character, every motivation, every outcome. Ultimately, this book is about what every book is about, people. What makes people tick. What drives us to acts of sacrifice and honor, cowardice and despair, love and fear, vengeance and transformation.

And if that’s too heady for you, no need to worry, there’s plenty else in here to keep you delighted, whether it be the all-to-casual beheadings as a way of bounty-hunting, or magicians who have the power to manipulate bugs for defense and healing and long distance communications, or boxing like you’ve never seen it before.

Buy this book. Read this book. Give your copy away to someone else, and go out and buy another.