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A Hugo For EATING AUTHORS?

No Comments » Written on March 17th, 2017 by
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EATING AUTHORS

Today is the deadline for Hugo nominations. I spent most of 2016 traveling promoting Barsk so I have no fiction out there for your consideration.

However…

If you’ve enjoyed my weekly blog series, EATING AUTHORS, well then this would be your chance to throw a Hugo nom toward it.

I believe the series, EATING AUTHORS, is eligible in the Best Fanzine category.

And too, that I am therefore eligible in the Best Best Fan Writer category.

I’ve been sharing the results of pestering authors about their most memorable meals every Monday since June 6th, 2011 (with only two exceptions), giving you a peek into the live and minds of world famous writers and brand new authors, because it’s been a vehicle for “paying it forward” too.

So, with that in mind, if you’ve an open slot on your Hugo ballot in either or both categories (and so many of you do!) then please, do your part to either get me a new paperweight for my desk or send me to the Hugo Losers Party in Helsinki. Either way, thanks.

And remember, the deadline to make (or make changes to) your nominations is today, 17 March 2017 at 11:59pm Pacific Daylight Time (2:59am Eastern Daylight Time, 06:59 Greenwich Mean Time, 08:59 in Finland, all on 18 March).

Something Fishy Indeed

1 Comment » Written on March 3rd, 2017 by
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My wife has been struggling with a number of health issues, and we’ve been through a wide variety of tests. I had my money on Lyme disease, but no the tests ruled that out. Nor was it Fibromyalgia (and it wasn’t Lupus). Earlier this week we were able to get in to see an Integrative Medicine specialist. He seemed confident that he had an explanation for all of Valerie’s ailments and he was quite convincing. Among the treatments he’s prescribing is a move away from land-based animal protein and a move toward raw vegetables.

Nothing is more important to me than Valerie’s health and happiness, and I know firsthand how difficult such a dramatic change in lifestyle can be, particularly when attempting it by yourself. Which is why I am taking the plunge with her.

I will be easing into the dietary habits of a pescetarian. This is apt to be particularly challenging as I do not like most fruits and vegetables.

Those of you who have followed my exploits and know of my writing “process” are likely aware that most afternoons (after I’ve finished my hours at the DayJob) I plant myself in a corner booth at a local KFC and write. This means that I generally eat fried chicken (in one manifestation or another) at least five days a week. Also, while pounding away on my keyboard at KFC, I will get up and refill my 16oz cup of diet cola numerous times, to the tune of at least half a gallon of the stuff each day (plus whatever I may have consumed in the morning at the DayJob and what I might drink later when I get home). This won’t be happening any more (and my sister Adrienne will likely find the timing of this amusing). No more trips to KFC. Yesterday was my last fried chicken. The poor employees at KFC who know me by name will likely assume I’ve died.

I’ll still drink the occasional Diet Coke, at least for now, but I’ll be transitioning to water or fruit juice and the like for most of my beverages.

We have a lot of other animal protein stocked up (e.g., a case of vacuum-packed, smoked duck breasts!) that I will work my way through in the weeks ahead, but I’ll be transitioning to fish and that’s no hardship for me. Also I’ll be eliminating most sugar and flour from my diet and replacing it with a lot more salad and other vegetables. Terrifying stuff.

I’ll also be saying goodbye to eggs and dairy. Cheese will be particularly missed. Yesterday, I was at a meeting hosted by Temple Hospital and they had a small spread for the attendees. To my own amazement, I bypassed the cheese platter and filled a small plate with some grapes, fresh broccoli, and a carrot slice. I had never previously eaten raw broccoli and I was surprised to find I liked it.

I baked up some swai fillets this morning for tonight’s dinner. And right now instead of sitting and working at a KFC, I’m sitting at Bryn + Dane’s and drinking a “Mo’ Green” smoothie. I’ve never had one before, but allegedly all it contains is kale, wheatgrass, pineapple and mango.

If all these changes don’t kill me, I suspect I’ll be considerably healthier the next time you see me.

My Final VancouFur 2017 Schedule

No Comments » Written on March 1st, 2017 by
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VancouFur

Weeks ago I posted my tentative schedule for this convention, promising to post an update when things firmed up some. That’s what you’re looking at now, and you’ll see that almost nothing has changed (though now I have room assignments for you). That says a lot about the folks handling programming. Well done.

Not content to rest on their laurels, all of a day after I had my initial scheduling information they loaded me up with their online scheduling utility. So, I’ve had this a bit and wanted to wait in case they had any last minute changes. Sorry, that’s not their style, they got it all right the first time. So now, without further ado, here’s were you can find me during my Author GoH gig at VancouFur.

Thursday, March 9th
6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. | Grand Ballroom A | Opening Ceremonies

Friday, March 10th
1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. | Boardroom A | Author Meet & Greet
I’ll probably only be at this for the first half hour, because at 1:30 I have to go to…

1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. | Tivoli’s II | Ice Cream Social
And I’ll probably only be at this for the first half hour as well, because at 2:00 I have to go to…

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. | Fraser | State of Anthropomorphic Writing
with Tony Greyfox and Ocean Tigrox

3:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. | Fraser | Klingon Language!
Come by and ask questions or just listen to me tell stories from more than two decades of spreading Klingon around the world.

Saturday, March 11th
11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. | Fraser | Language and SF
I talk about language and linguistics at almost every convention I attend, and it’s never the same thing twice because language is so awesome!

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. | Fraser | Q&A Reading w/ Lawrence M. Schoen
I’ll read a bit from the sequel to Barsk, and then answer your questions about that book, other stories, novellas, and novels I’ve written, about writing in general, or most anything you want to ask me.

4:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. | Fraser | Advantages of Small Press Publishing
I’ve sold short stories to a couple dozen small press anthologies. My first two novels came out from a small press. I run a small press of my own. And I’m on the Board of Directors for SFWA where we talk about small press contracts and such. So, come by and let’s kick around some of the pros and cons of small press publishing.

5:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. | Grand Ballroom A | GOH Dinner
This seems like a good thing for me to attend. I’m a big fan of dinner. What’s portion size like in Canada? If you sit next to me, can I eat off your plate too?

7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. | Grand Ballroom A | Variety Show
I expect to be in attendance, likely because I ate too much at the dinner to be able to move yet. (It’s your fault. I can’t believe you let me eat off your plate like that).

Sunday, March 12th
12:00pm – 1:00pm | Boardroom A | SFWA Q&A
The fine folks at VancouFur have graciously provided me some space to hang out and answer questions about the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America for anyone who might be interested in what they do, what resources they make available, what the perks of membership include, and what you can avail yourself of without even joining! So come on by.

When I’m not doing programming, I’ll likely be drinking a Diet Coke, wandering around in the public spaces, chilling at the bar, or possibly typing away frantically on a tablet (in either a public space, or the bar). Feel free to come over and say “hi” if you like.

Farewell, Richard

No Comments » Written on February 24th, 2017 by
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Richard Hatch

I only just learned that actor Richard Hatch (shown here as a Klingon in Prelude to Axanar) died on February 7th. He was 71.

Back in March of 1999, I was in Sydney, Australia as the guest of a convention called BEST OF BOTH WORLDS 5. William Shatner was headlining the convention, but also on the bill were Richard, Robin Curtis, and me.

Bill was staying in a separate hotel from the rest of us, but I spent a lot of time hanging out with Richard. Highlights included watching the Oscars in his hotel room and listening to snarky stories about various nominees.

The three actors had been in Sydney for a day doing press, but I only arrived late in the afternoon the day before the convention was to start because I’d just flown in from New Zealand where I’d spent several days opening a Star Trek exhibit at the national museum in Wellington.

Richard, Robin, and I were the honored guests at a special banquet in the hotel. I’d met Robin before at another con and we got along quite well, so our hosts put us at the same table. Richard was oof at another table, holding court. Because of the timing of things, Richard and I hadn’t even been introduced yet, and when Robin and I sat down at our table I remember her telling me “not to start anything” with Richard at dinner.

No one told Richard though, so he started it.

Over the course of the next hour, we took turns playing a series of jokes on one another. He took my dinner away when I wasn’t looking. Then, while he was up from his table and talking to someone across the room, I removed his place setting and chair, and had everyone at his table shift so the round of eight became a round of seven and it was like he’d never been there. In retaliation, he had a member of the hotel staff come up to me to inform me I had phone call from the states, and that I could take it downstairs at the front desk. I rushed down, only to find a note in bad Klingon that basically said “ha ha, we got you.”

When I returned to the banquet room Richard was grinning. I told him how relieved I was that the call was a fake because my father was very ill (which was true) and the only reason someone would be calling me from the US would be to tell me he had died. Richard stopped laughing, and we sat down and began to chat.

I asked him why he’d started in like he had, when we’d never even formally met. I will never forget his answer. He said, “Lawrence, you just looked like someone who would be fun to play with.”

And, on the last night of the con, after everything was over, we went out drinking. I don’t usually drink, but I got drunk that night, and Richard and I wandered around Sydney harbor singing show tunes.

Goodbye, Richard. Thank you for the memories. You were fun to play with.

My Tentative VancouFur 2017 Schedule

No Comments » Written on February 1st, 2017 by
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VancouFur

In early March, I’ll be traveling to Canada. Specifically to Vacouver, British Columbia, where I have the privilege of being the Author GoH at VancouFur.

I’m especially excited to be going as this will be my first Furry convention!

Earlier today they sent me the details of my schedule. Some of this will change and I’ll post an update when it does. In particular, I’m eager to learn who I’ll be doing panels with. You’ll know when I do. 🙂

Thursday, March 9th
6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. | Opening Ceremonies

Friday, March 10th
1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. | Author Meet & Greet
I’ll probably only be at this for the first half hour, because at 1:30 I have to go to…

1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. | Ice Cream Social
And I’ll probably only be at this for the first half hour as well, because at 2:00 I have to go to…

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. | State of Anthropomorphic Writing
with Tony Greyfox and Ocean Tigrox

3:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. | Klingon Language!
Come by and ask questions or just listen to me tell stories from more than two decades of spreading Klingon around the world.

Saturday, March 11th
11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. | Language and SF
I talk about language and linguistics at almost every convention I attend, and it’s never the same thing twice because language is so awesome!

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. | Q&A Reading w/ Lawrence M. Schoen
I’ll read a bit from the sequel to Barsk, and then answer your questions about that book, other stories, novellas, and novels I’ve written, about writing in general, or most anything you want to ask me.

4:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. | Advantages of Small Press Publishing
I’ve sold short stories to a couple dozen small press anthologies. My first two novels came out from a small press. I run a small press of my own. And I’m on the Board of Directors for SFWA where we talk about small press contracts and such. So, come by and let’s kick around some of the pros and cons of small press publishing.

5:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. | GOH Dinner
This seems like a good thing for me to attend. I’m a big fan of dinner. What’s portion size like in Canada? If you sit next to me, can I eat off your plate too?

7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. | Variety Show
I expect to be in attendance, likely because I ate too much at the dinner to be able to move yet. (It’s your fault. I can’t believe you let me eat off your plate like that).

Sunday, March 12th
Time to be Determined | SFWA Q&A
I’ve asked the convention if they could perhaps find some space for me to hang out and answer questions about the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America for anyone who might be interested in what they do, what resources they make available, what the perks of membership include, and what you can avail yourself of without even joining! So come on by.

When I’m not doing programming, I’ll likely be drinking a Diet Coke, wandering around in the public spaces, chilling at the bar, or possibly typing away frantically on a tablet (in either a public space, or the bar). Feel free to come over and say “hi” if you like.

Win A Copy of BARSK

No Comments » Written on December 22nd, 2016 by
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It’s a been an amazing year and to cap it off Tor Books is releasing Barsk: The Elephants’ Graveyard in a new, trade paperback edition.

And, as they just sent me a box of author copies, it seemed like a good idea for a giveaway. So, sign up below!

Note: you can increase your chances to win by following me on Twitter and/or signing up for my newsletter.

My Tentative Philcon 2016 Schedule

No Comments » Written on November 7th, 2016 by
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Philcon

Apparently there’s a programming schedule viewable online for this year’s Philcon. I only found out about this because another author let me know that I’m on it (which I expected, though I’ve still not heard a peep from the con about my actual schedule). But, that’s the last bit of complaining you’ll likely hear from me on the topic because I’ve been given a truly wonderful schedule. And here it is:

Saturday, November 19th
11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. | Crystal Ballroom Three | Writing For Aliens: Constructing Languages
with Nathan Lilly (mod), James L. Cambias, Barry B. Longyear, Kathleen Bragg, Samuel R. Delany

12:00 p.m. – 01:00 p.m. | Executive Suite 623 | Readings: C. J. Cherryh & Lawrence M. Schoen
So this year the convention is grouping readings in twos. I’ve been paired with Principal Speaker, C. J. Cherryh. And yes, that sound you just heard is my head exploding. She reads at noon, and I’ll go on at 12:30 (or whenever she says I can). Oh, and I’ll be reading an early chapter from the BARSquel.
with C. J. Cherryh

1:00 p.m. – 200 p.m.| Autograph Table | Signing
I’ll be sitting alongside Larry Hodges. He’s Larry. I’m Lawrence. Get it right.
with Larry Hodges

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. | Plaza II | Generating a Balonium Field: Pseudoscience in SF Storytelling
While we like to keep real science as accurate as possible, sometimes it’s necessary for a writer to just make things up. How do you do so in a way that sits well with your readers?
with John Ashmead (mod), Earl Bennett, Lawrence Kramer, Joan Wendland

7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. | Executive Suite 823 | Launch Party
Danielle Ackley-McPhail (aka the Queen of Launch Parties) is throwing a bash to celebrate the release of The Best of Defending the Future. There will be food, readings, food, signings, food, and who knows what other kinds of distraction. Oh, and you can buy books too, count on it.
with many many talented authors from the series

I’ll likely also be around for a bit on Friday afternoon and evening, and likely not on Sunday. I’ve got to get back to work on the BARSquel

My 2016 Capclave Schedule

No Comments » Written on September 22nd, 2016 by
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Capclave

After a year of far too much travel, things are finally winding down and the remaining stops on my convention schedule are much closer to home and familiar. Next up is Capclave, just down the road a couple hours in Gaithersburg, Maryland.

In addition to the panels and other items. listed below, please note that I’ll be at the awards presentation on Saturday night. Two of the authors up for the WSFS award this year, Beth Cato and Leona Wisoker, were nominated for stories from the anthology Cats in Space, edited by Elektra Hammond and published by Paper Golem. Neither of these authors can attend, and so it will fall to me to accept on their behalf. A happy chore indeed.

Friday, October 7th
8:00 – 8:55 p.m. | Rockville/ Potomac | An Animal World
Animal protagonists need to be a mix of animal nature and human level intelligence, not just people in animal suits. The panel will discuss the joys and pitfalls of working with these characters.
with Alan Loewen (M), Mike McPhail, Bernie Mojzes, and Michelle D. Sonnier

Saturday, October 9th
12:00 – 12:25 a.m. | Seneca | Reading
If everyone in the room has already read Barsk: The Elephants’ Graveyard, I’ll read — for the first time anywhere — the opening chapter or two from the sequel!

12:30 – 12:55 a.m. | Author’s hallway table | Author Table
I’ll be putting in some time showing off some of the things I’ve written and/or published. This is a narrow window in which to pick up some classic Paper Golem titles.

2:00 – 2:55 p.m. | Rockville/ Potomac | Writing Gadgets Well
How do you work technology into your story without boring the reader? You want to make your “inventions” believable, but how much is too much?
with Barbara Krasnoff, Edward M. Lerner, and Darcy Wold

3:00 – 3:55 p.m. | Salon A | World Creation and Maintenance
Authors are gods when it comes to world creation. The panelists will discuss not only how they create a world, but also how it can grow, especially if the story is part of a series.
with Ann Chatham, Sarah Beth Durst, and Victoria Janssen

7:30 – 8:25 p.m. | Salon A | Mass Autograph Session
I’ll be sitting at a table somewhere, with paper name tent in front of me, waiting to sign all the things. Please come by with your share.

8:30 – 10:00 p.m. | Salon A | WSFA Small Press Award
Come join the convention in honoring both short fiction and small presses. Lots of honorable mentions and someone wins the prize. All things being equal, there’s a 2 in 9 chance I’ll be reading someone’s acceptance speech!

I have really been looking forward to this convention. Low key, good conversation, and some truly wonderful Peruvian food.

See you in Gaithersburg!