I like the idea of closing out 2013 by telling you about something I’ll be doing in 2014. In just over a week, my wife and I will be traveling down to Raleigh, NC, where I have the privilege of being on of the Guests of Honor at Illogicon III.

I’m still not clear on who my co-panelists are on some of what follows, but I do feel pretty confident about the topics and times, and that should be enough to get you started. As more information comes in, I’ll update this with the names of actual rooms and people, greatly enhancing your chance of finding me and being ready for whoever else might be there:

Friday, January 10th

2:00 p.m. || Opening Ceremonies
Join us as we kick things off and the convention chair gives Mary Robinette Kowal and I the keys to the city (or something like that).

5:00 p.m. || The Fortunes of Small Press
The standard joke goes like this: Want to make a small fortune with a small press? Easy, start with a large fortune! But once you get past the jokes, what’s involved in actually starting your own press?

9:00 p.m. || Lies With Words
The panelists are given a list of obscure and/or obsolete words in advance. One person has the true meaning and the others compose false definition of each words, long or short, simple or complex, as they please. Can the audience tell which is which? Points are Awarded to each panelist for every audience member who buys into his/her lie.

Saturday, January 11th

10:00 a.m. || Reading
Come and hear me read a tale of the Amazing Conroy. One lucky attendee will leave with his/her/hir own plush buffalito! I’ll also talk a bit about my new book coming from Tor. Also, this would also be a good time to bring me things to sign.

12:00 p.m. || Social Scientists’ Science Fiction
There’s no shortage of science fiction written by authors with Ph.D.s in the “hard sciences” (biology, chemistry, physics), and their expertise show up in everything from world building to alien physiology. But what about authors with doctorates in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Linguistics, Economics, and so on? Is the SF experience redefined when it comes from social scientists instead?

3:00 p.m. || You Are Getting Sleepy
A few words about common misperceptions of hypnosis (as maintained by media and popular culture), what doesn’t work, and what does, and maybe even a brief demonstration.
This is just me, but soon you too will be part of my army of hypnotized minions.

Sunday, January 12th

1:00 p.m. || Fuck the Universal Translator!
(I can’t believe they let me put “Fuck” in the panel name). A rant about the many reasons why the aliens will not show up speaking perfect English, and other examples of linguistic laziness by science fiction authors.

7:00 p.m. || Closing Ceremonies
A tired (but happy!) con staff gathers to thank everyone for an amazing weekend.

And of course, Barry (my personal, plush buffalito) will be with me. His Facebook page needs more photos, so be sure to pose with him for during the convention.