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Communing with Bison

No Comments » Written on April 7th, 2012 by
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As mentioned previously, I celebrated Doctoral Day last Monday by driving down through Delaware to the Colvine Bison Farm. The Collins family was very nice to me, and allowed me to wander around soaking up the buffalo vibes. Most of the bison they had there were fairly young, no more than a year or two old, and didn’t seem at all like the iconic buffalo that I had in my mind. If anything, they seemed “small.” Buffalo are supposed to be “massive.” Even so, some of these were coming in at half a ton.

young bison

I thought I’d been prepared for how narrow bison often look, but the actual experience was just weird, giving the animals an almost ghostly vibe as they stood there in the wind, like creatures in a funhouse mirror, or existing in only two and a third dimensions. Pictures don’t really capture this.

As I was preparing to leave, efforts were made for me to have my photo taken with Boom Boom. He’s the stud of the farm, and apparently more than a little cranky at times. For either or both of these reasons (I’m not really sure), he was off in his own little pasture. I’d only seen him from a distance (unlike the other animals who were curious about me, and came close when I stood by their fences). Boom Boom was lured over by filling a trough with corn, and as he approached he just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah, this was what I’d come to see. This was a real, live, full-sized buffalo. Wow.

Lawrence and Boom Boom

Best Doctoral Day ever!

My Chicon buffalitos are here!

2 comments Written on March 31st, 2012 by
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Plush Buffalito

Even though Chicon 7, the 70th World Science Fiction Convention is still many months away, preparations are nonetheless underway.

Hadley Rille Books will be launching my third Amazing Conroy book (we’re still haggling over the words in the title, but you can be assured the first word will be Buffalito), and because it’s the Worldcon, they’re doing it up right!

Sure, we’ll have ribbons. But… everyone has ribbons. What everyone doesn’t have are plush buffalitos!

That’s right, you read it correctly. In celebration of the new books we’ll have an limited supply of adorable plush buffalo dogs (just like Barry, the plucky fellow who’s been riding on my shoulder at conventions for years).

I’m telling you about this now because the shipment just arrived (not sure whether from Gibrahl or Vermont). They currently contained in a large cardboard box, but seriously, how long can we expect that to hold them? They’re buffalitos after all!

The Return of DOCTORAL DAY: 25th Anniversary Edition!

No Comments » Written on March 31st, 2012 by
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Regular readers of my blog will know that this next Monday heralds my personal holiday. April 2nd is the date on which I successfully defended my dissertation and the members of my committee shook my hand and said, “Congratulations, Doctor Schoen.”

Traditionally, I spend the day doing something self-indulgent. I also like to encourage everyone to engage in vacuously pompous behavior, lecturing the masses on any topic that you choose (note: you must provide your own soapbox). If you have a terminal degree, proudly display it for all lesser mortals to behold, and let them tremble in the glow of your privileged intellect.

Or something like that.

This year’s Doctoral Day is a bit extra-special, owing to our culture’s preoccupation with certain numbers. It’s the 25th anniversary, and so I’ve come up with a particularly splendid treat for myself: On Monday, I’ll be traveling down to Delaware, where I’ll be visiting the Colvine Bison Farm for my first in person viewing of some buffalo.

Can you believe it? Half a million words about buffalitos, and I’ve never spent time up close with a buffalo before. It’s probably too much to hope that they have a gift shop (let alone one with silver souvenirs), but if nothing else, I’m sure I’ll be coming home with fresh bison filet mignon. Yummers!

SFWA Voting

No Comments » Written on March 30th, 2012 by
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Over on his blog (which certainly doesn’t need any links from me), SFWA President John Scalzi has posted a reminder that the deadline for Active and Lifetime Members to cast their online Nebula ballots is tonight, March 30, 2012, 11:59pm PDT.

Yeah, I know, many people will have glanced at that deadline a month or more ago and mentally miscoded it as “last day of March,” which of course it’s not. And boy howdy, if you were one of them, won’t you be annoyed if you try and vote tomorrow!

And, as long as you’re remembering to cast your online Nebula ballots at the proverbial last minute, let me remind you that you still have a couple weeks in which to mail in your ballot for this year’s SFWA Election.

That’s right, we’re still functioning under the old articles of incorporation, which prohibit online elections. Maybe next year we will cease our wandering in the desert and arrive at the promised land (or at least electronic balloting), but for now I have to go out to my mailbox every day and check for arriving ballots (for those that don’t know, I’m once again the SFWA Election Officer, which means you send your votes to me!).

So, don’t just settle for casting your Nebula ballot today, send in your election ballot as well. And don’t worry about me and my paper cuts, it’s a price I gladly play for our sacred system of democracy. Yeah, you betcha!

Trek Trax Atlanta: Preliminary Schedule

2 comments Written on March 23rd, 2012 by
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It’s been a few years since I’ve put in an appearance at a Klingon or Star Trek convention, but that’s all about to change. I’ll be talking the talk at Trek Trax Atlanta from Friday, April 20th, through Sunday, April 22nd. It’s been far too long since I’ve been back to Atlanta, and I’m looking forward to the trip.

Here then is my my pre-final schedule for this grand event. It may change, but I’m thinking it’s pretty solid:

Friday, April 20th:
10:00 – 11:00 | Centennial I | Twenty Years of Pimping the Klingon Language (M)
 Q&A and some strange tales of pushing the Klingon language for two decades.

Saturday, April 21st

2:30 – 3:30 | Chastain | The Sounds of Klingon
 An interactive session with just a bit of spitting as we master some of the trickier sounds.

7:00 – 8:00 | Chastain | Ten Things Every Klingon Should Know How to Say… in Klingon!
 Eric Koske and I instruct you in some essential Klingon phrases.

Sunday, April 22nd
10:00 – 11:00 | Chastain | Klingon Religion
 Tony Roberts and I discuss religion, Klingon style!

2:30 – 3:30 | Centennial I | The 2012 Miss Klingon Empire Beauty Pageant
 Join Todd Bryant, David Orange, Spice Williams, and me as we judge the event. Yeah, yeah, it’s a tough job…

When I’m not busy with the above, they tell me there’ll table where I can sit and sell various materials from the KLI, chat with attendees, and generally hang out. With luck, there’ll be some Diet Coke nearbye too.

Lunacon 2012: No, THIS Is My Schedule!

No Comments » Written on March 13th, 2012 by
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As is usually the case, there’s been some movement here and there on the schedule. The important thing is that it looks like everything is bolted down now, and we’re good to go. If you’re looking to find me at Lunacon, the following provides your prime stalking opportunities:

Friday, March 16th:
20:00 – 21:00 | Grand Ballroom ? |Meet the Pros
 Grab a drink, have a nosh, and come say “howdy”

Saturday, March 17th
11:00 – 11:30 | Bartell | Reading
 In honor of the recently released ERB film, I will likely read “A Buffalito Of Mars”

12:00 – 13:00 | William Odelle | Hadley Rille Press: Meet the Authors (M)
 Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich, and I share tales of this midwestern small press

13:00 – 14:00 | Westchester Assembly | Autographing
 w/ Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich

16:00 – 17:00 | Westchester Ballroom A1 | Neuroscience Fiction
 w/ Lawrence Kramer, Linda Zimmermann, Shara Zoll (M)

Sunday, March 18th
12:00 – 13:00 | Elijah Budd | Creating Believable Fantasy Animals
 w/ Karin Rita Gastreich (M), Robert J. Howe, Keira Sokolowski

13:00 – 15:00 | Grand Ballrom North | Charity Book Raffle (MC)
 GoH Howard Tayler and I will vie for privilege of drawing your ticket? (sorry about the pun)

Still no sign of any programming for Barry. In past years, Mr. Shirt has threatened to put him on the schedule. I, in turn, have threatened to leave him sitting on podium in front of an empty room. Nothing good can come of this, I’m sure.

Lunacon 2012: My Schedule!

No Comments » Written on March 11th, 2012 by
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Despite rumors (started by me) that my stint last year as GoH had broken Lunacon, the fine folks at Programming have come through with a schedule. No doubt there will be some changes before the actual event (now less than a week away), but for your edification and amusement, here is where I think you can find me, at least as of right now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my pre-final schedule for Lunacon 2012:

Friday, March 16th:
20:30 – 21:30 | Grand Ballroom ? |Meet the Pros
 Grab a drink, have a nosh, and come say “howdy”

Saturday, March 17th
12:00 – 13:00 | William Odelle | Hadley Rille Press: Meet the Authors (M)
 Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich, and I share tales of this midwestern small press

13:00 – 14:00 | Westchester Assembly | Autographing
 w/ Terri-Lynne DeFino, Karin Rita Gastreich

16:00 – 17:00 | Westchester Ballroom A1 | Neuroscience Fiction
 w/ Lawrence Kramer, Linda Zimmermann, Shara Zoll (M)

Sunday, March 18th
10:00 – 10:30 | Bartell | Reading
 In honor of the recently released ERB film, I will likely read “A Buffalito Of Mars”

12:00 – 13:00 | Elijah Budd | Creating Believable Fantasy Animals
 w/ Karin Rita Gastreich (M), Robert J. Howe, Keira Sokolowski

13:00 – 15:00 | Grand Ballrom North | Charity Book Raffle (MC)
 Will I draw your ticket? You’ll just have to come by and see

For good or ill, Barry believes he is the convention’s unofficial Plushie GoH (I’ve tried explaining it to him, but he just won’t listen — I doubt they’ll even have a badge for him). If you’d like to humor him, the odds are good that you can find him riding on my shoulder throughout most of the convention (at least when he’s not in the bar, drowning his sorrows in barbecue sauce). I would consider it a kindness if you’d stop and pose for a photograph with him.

Insomnia? Why not nominate for the Hugos?

No Comments » Written on March 10th, 2012 by
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As happens most nights, I woke up at some stupid hour of the dark, and couldn’t fall back to sleep.

Rather than lay in bed and listen to the sounds of my wife and the dogs snoozing, I got up and went into my office (as I usually) do.

Seemed like as good a time as any to finally submit my nominations for this year’s Hugo Awards.

Well… that’s done. Hmmm…